Pillow Talk

We started something Sunday night with Brooklyn. We started putting her to bed with a pillow. And, not just any pillow, Mommy's pillow.

I have had the pillow since I was two. It's hand-filled with feathers and fits a twin pillowcase. At first glance, it looks just like a regular, run-of-the-mill pillow, but it has been so much more than that to me. It's been my security blanket when I was younger and afraid of something under my bed. It's gone on numerous trips, including back and forth from my college town. (In fact, in on of my writing courses in college, the professor asked us what we would save in a fire. I said my pillow, but what he was looking for was our writing portfolio.) It's got that quality to it that on a warm summer night, all you have to do is flip it over and instantly, it's cool and helps you fall deeper into a slumber. No matter how many times I wash my pillowcase (yes, I don't like to change it, just wash it weekly), when I smell my pillow, it smells like my childhood, mixed in with the fresh smell of detergent and fabric softener. When I am using a hotel pillow, I can't wait to return to my bed and sleep with my pillow - I really don't sleep as sound without it.

Knowing how important my pillow is to me, Kevin has asked me numerous times if he can try my pillow out for a night. I have always declined his request. But, on Mother's Day night, as I was giving Brooklyn her night-time massage, something came over me, and I asked Kevin to put my pillow in Brooklyn's bed. He gave me a look. We both know that she thoroughly enjoys sleeping like a big girl with her head on the pillow as she has done it several times in the wee hours of the morning when she joins us in bed to cuddle before having to wake up for the day. I handed it to him and he placed in on her bed. Sunday night, she went to sleep right away when we laid her down and slept all night long - something she does off and on. The next few nights, we tried putting one of Daddy's pillows in her bed instead, but she tossed and turned when we laid her down for bed. Both nights, we ended up putting Mommy's pillow back in, and she was out in less than five minutes and slept all night.

So, now I am in a quandry, and I am feeling a bit selfish, which isn't good. Do I give her my pillow, or do I get her a new one and give her my pillowcase? As a mom, I try and give my baby girl all that she could ever want or need, but I am struggling with this one. For now, she's using my pillow and Kevin's been gracious enough to let me use on of his.

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OK. I just reread what I wrote, and seriously, I sound like a little kid who doesn't like to share!?!

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Side note: We did ask Brooklyn's pediatrician BEFORE we let her use a pillow if it was safe, and the answer we got was yes.