Today changed my way of thinking

I went to a funeral today for my childhood friend's aunt, Jeanette. My dad and her dad have been great friends for many, many years. I didn't personally know her aunt, but being that her family was my second family growing up and her mom and dad were always like my second parents, my heart told me to go and lend support to the family. The funeral, which was more of a celebratory ceremony honoring her life, was very beautiful and very emotional. My friend and two of her three sisters sang two songs and quite a few family members shared how Jeanette touched their lives through songs, prayer, stories, letters and poems. What a wonderful woman who embraced the Lord's plan for her life and worshipped and praised Him in everything she did, and she was definitely quite the singer! Jeanette's husband had recorded her singing talents and a few songs were played during the ceremony. By the end, I began to feel very sad that I did not have the chance to meet this talented woman who touched so many lives. But, as others said several times, she is now in a much better place where there is no pain and she can walk beside the Lord as He has promised.

As I drove back to work, I called my dad to tell him about the ceremony as he couldn't get off work, and during our conversation, the phrase "best friend" was used. This phrase hasn't bothered me at all until today. It wasn't that it was used in a bad manner, it's just that the "best" part of the phrase made me feel sick to my stomach. What makes someone better than another? What makes a friend the "best"? And, do we have "worst friends"? I have fallen guilty to using this phrase to describe a woman in my life whom I have known since sixth grade and whom I am very close with. But, I have another girlfriend (the one who I saw today at her aunt's funeral) that I am very close with as well. What title, if you will, does she get? Simply "friend"? Sadly, yes. Is that fair? It's not a matter of being fair, it's a matter of being true. And, to be true, you have to genuine and to call one of these women my "best friend" and the other "friend," makes my heart hurt because I feel like I have lifted up my one friend and not the other other. Both of these women are so very near and dear to my heart and I love them both like a sister. So, from here on out, the term "best friend" goes out the window. I don't want to label my friends and I don't want either one to think that the other is superior because that's not the case. I have shared my heart, stories, tears and laughter with both of them. We're all riding the roller coaster of life as we all are mommies, wives, daughters, sisters and believers in Christ, and the last thing any of us needs is to be judged. They are both my closest girlfriends, and I will leave it at that.

Even though, I never met Jeanette, I feel that through listening to those she loved share her life with me today, it has changed my way of thinking, and for that, I am eternally grateful.

Dating sucks, but it's worth it

Dating. Ugh, gag. That's the first reaction I have when I think of dating. It can be very daunting as you search for the person you are meant to spend the rest of your life with.

Let me be honest, I had quite a few boyfriends in high school and had some boys that chased me, but I didn't give many of them the time of day. Am I proud that I went from boyfriend to boyfriend? Not reallly. I was on the hunt to find that "perfect" boyfriend, much like many high school girls who want to be in a relationship. My freshman and sophomore year, I dated what my parents refer to as "losers." These are the guys that needed their pants stapled to their waists and they need to sit through a couple lessons with Miss Manners. Point in case, one of these "losers" gets into my parents' car after the Homecoming game, and yells to my dad "Hey Pops!" Nice, huh!?! My dad was less than impressed.

My junior year, my interest in the opposite sex changed. I wasn't into bad boys anymore. I started dating a guy a year younger than me. He was in ROTC, the school's version of the military, wrestled and played JV football. He came from a nice family, although his parents smoked like chimneys, and had a stable home life. Sounds better, right? Well, the day he came to school dressed in Army camouflage, my best friend and I bolted to her car and raced away for lunch leaving him standing by my locker wondering where I was. The next day, it happened again, this time, he came in a cowboy hat and spurs. I bolted away again. Shallow? Looking back, yes. Mean? Probably. During this relationship, I had another guy, a year older flirting with me, wanting me to be his girlfriend. I wasn't interested in anything more than his friendship. I also had another guy, a very innocently shy (when it came to girls) guy start asking me for dating advice. He wanted to ask out a girl that he worked with but wasn't sure how and what moves to make. When he got a date with her, another girl and I showed him how to make the not-so-subtle arm stretch move in the movie theater. I was his model. He tried the move out on me, and something instantly clicked, I really liked this guy. For those who aren't sure, yes I was still with my boyfriend, the camouflage wearing wrestler.

Things started going downhill for my boyfriend and I as I kept getting close to this other guy - we were purely friends by the way, nothing more. Our boy's basketball team had made it to the playoffs and they were playing in Evergreen. I asked my boyfriend to come to the game with me. His response: "I don't support people that don't support me" meaning they didn't watch him grab other guys in his little leotard on the mats. That made me so mad. I ended up going with a bunch of friends, one of them being the guy I was starting to fall for. Our team won! On the ride home, I was sitting next to the new guy and I fell asleep with my head on his shoulder.

It only took a few weeks, and a very sentimental Val-O-Gram from me to the new guy, and my boyfriend and I were done. I broke up with him over the phone (the worst way to do it). The next day, my guy friend asked me to be his girlfriend. Yeah! We lasted three weeks, and then I had to end it (actually my mom told me to) because I really wasn't over my ex-boyfriend. The timing couldn't have been more perfect. Spring break was only a day away meaning 1) I wouldn't have to see him for a week and 2) I could work on getting back together with my ex. The day before spring break started, I saw him flirting with a girl I thought was my friend, but she was flirting back and they were singing songs and playing hangman during our yearbook class. It made my heart hurt.

Spring break was finally here, and my mom took it upon herself to call several boys and set up a date a night for me. No, my mom isn't controlling, she just saw something that I didn't at the time, and she wanted to help me find the right path. So, I went on several dates, and finally when Thursday rolled around, I realized that I really wanted to be with the guy who went with me to the basketball game in Evergreen, the guy who was so innocently shy about girls that is was so endearing. I called him that night and he had just gotten back from a date with the girl he flirted with less than a week ago. It didn't work out, and he was very upset, almost crying. We talked for hours and hours about his date, what happened between us and life in general. A few days later I was at his house studying for the ACTs and watching Phenomenon. He started tickling me and one thing lead to another, and we were back together after our week apart.

If you haven't guessed it by now, my new love interest was Kevin. We met for the first time when we were in fifth grade, went our separate ways to different middle schools and different high schools until spring semester our sophomore year. We didn't officially start talking again or acting like we knew each other until junior year. And, after that initial arm around my neck, the sparks began to fly, and we began to fall in love with each other.


Three years later, he asked me to be his wife, and of course I said yes, and I couldn't be happier that I did! He's my best friend, my confidant, my shoulder to cry on, my teddy bear, my biggest fan, the one who keeps me grounded, the father of my daughter and the love of my life. I guess dating isn't so bad, after all, it brought me a fairy tale ending with the man of my dreams. Would I do it again? Absolutely, if only I could guarantee the same end result.