UGH!

A couple weeks ago I was talking to one of my co-workers and she mentioned the age difference between her three children, and how it worked for her. I looked at her and said I thought you had two, does the other one live out of the state? She looked at me and said, no she died of leukemia when she was nine. Oh! I immediately apologized. I had absolutely no idea. She went into the whole story of when they found out, the six years of treatment, what it was like watching her daughter die and how long it took for her family to be “okay” again. I just stood there, feeling so terrible that I had made her talk about this. When she was done with her story, I gave her a hug and apologized again. She said it wasn’t my fault, how could I have known, after all she doesn’t ever talk about it. She said she knows she will never, ever have to do anything that hard again, so she’s okay with talking about it sometimes. But, oh, why oh why, did I have to inquire about her third child?!

Today, the same co-worker asked me what I am doing for lunch. I told her going to the refrigerator, indicating that I had brought my lunch. I told her that my husband has given up fast food for Lent and I am being supportive by not having any either. She laughs and says, I’ve given up men for Lent! I laugh along with her, and say, what about your husband? She looks at me and says don’t you know. Oh, my gosh .. what have I stumbled on now? Ugh. She tells me that her husband left her last year on Good Friday. She couldn’t believe that I hadn’t known that because she was absolutely certain that everyone at work had talked about it a time or two when she wasn’t there. I told her that I don’t listen or partake in office gossip, and that when someone’s name who isn’t present gets brought up in conversation, I leave because I want no part of it. She told me that her and her husband had gone on a very nice vacation the week before and had a great time and really connected, but then on Good Friday, he up and left her with really no explanation. She said she was in shock for six months, and that around Christmas it really started to sink in, especially with the finalization of their divorce. I once again apologized for inadvertently sticking my nose in her personal business. I had no idea she was divorced from her husband, I thought he was just being a jerk or something. But, again, why did I have to inquire?!

I have vowed that the next time she says something that I don’t understand, I will just nod along and not ask questions, or have a comment. I really hate it when I do this. I feel just so very terrible. I wish I could take it back, but I can’t. I am not one to pry into other people’s personal lives, especially not at work. I’ve always considered myself friendly and a people person. I love to hear other people’s stories, to interact with them and even from time to time learn something from what they tell me. But, my intention is to never make them share difficult personal stories, or stories that they wouldn’t necessarily share with me until I stick my foot in my mouth by asking a question. Neither time was my co-worker upset with me, but I was upset with myself. I hope I have learned my lesson and the next time a situation like this comes up, I will remember this story, and not stick my foot in my mouth. But, we’re all human, right?!

All-American Girl

Brooklyn got a BIG GIRL bed!!!

And, she's SO happy!!!!!!

My Addiction

It all started in November. From the first moment I tried it, I was hooked, and really couldn't live without it. Maybe it was because I had a lack of other things to view, or because I never got to view it as a teenager. My mom always told me I was too young and when I was older, I wouldn't be able to follow along, so it was banned from our house.

What am I talking about?

Beverly Hills 90210.

This show followed the lives of a group of teenagers living in the posh, star-studded community of Beverly Hills, California. These teenagers all grew up, some left the show, some returned and some stayed for the whole 10 years the show was produced. It began with the Walsh family moving from Minnesota to Beverly Hills and ended with a wedding and a promise of a relationship viewers had waited years for.

I haven't seen all the episodes quite yet, but my trusty DVR is set up to tape the reruns on SoapNet. As time allows, and most likely in the evening, I turn on an episode. Now, the only person that has any objection to me watching this show is my dear husband. When he sees it on, he says, oh is it a new episode?! I have seen the end of the show and the beginning, now I am in the middle.

I wonder to myself, once I have seen ALL the episodes, will I rewatch the reruns? Probably. Why? Because this show intrigues me. I love the characters and the story line. And, because, yea...I'm addicted.

Happy Heart Day!

I hope you all have a better Valentine's Day than this...

Gotta go to work

We finally disassembled our old computer, moving it to the basement, leaving our desk empty. The only thing that remained on our desk was our printer, our internet cable modem and our wireless router. It looked all nice and clean, and really kind of empty.

Now, we could have left this alone, and just had a really nice and clean desk, but we went a different direction. After having moved things around a bit, and finding a secure location for our laptop when we aren't on it, I had a wonderful idea.

Our desk is the kind where there's little shelves on the right side of the desk for storage. Recently this had been taken over by Brooklyn, her paper, pencils, crayons and cordless phone. She has 2 little chairs that my sister made for her before she was born, and she keeps one in her room and one in the office, located right in front of one of the shelves. She has spent a lot of time on that little chair working on her work, and sometimes by accident coloring on her desk.

So, as I moved things around, I made a spot for Brooklyn to have her very own office on our desk. We moved the TV that we had on the floor to the corner of the desk, just simply to get it out of the way. On the other corner of the desk, I put her cordless phone, and she has a coffee mug with her pencils, pens she can use and crayons. She has her pads of paper and her sticky note container complete with her sticky notes.

For the first few minutes, she just sat there calling people and writing down things like she had actually gone to work. She called my dad, her Papa, several times and every time she got off the phone saying "well, good" and then she started marking something down on her paper. I think she will like her new spot, and will get a lot of work done. And, she is very,very cute and such a big girl!

A stolen moment

The clock read 5:48 a.m. Almost time to get up to get a jump start on the day. As I lay there in bed listening to the baby monitor, I hear a little voice whisper "Momma." I immediately jump out of bed, go down the hall and find my little girl standing up in her crib waving at me. I smile at her, tell her good morning and then scoop her up and carry of to bed with me. Even though I know that she's awake for the day, I still want to cuddle and enjoy the next few minutes together. I lay her down in the middle of the bed, partially on Daddy's pillow. As I go to lay down next to her, she puts her arms out and says "I hold you." So instead of putting my head on my pillow, I rested it gently on her chest. She wrapped both of her arms around me and holding me so tightly while she said "Mommy, I miss you." I told her that I loved her and missed her too. We chatted about how we slept, what we learned at church last night, what we dreamed about, what the day ahead was going to hold for both of us. Then as I begrudgingly had to get up to shower, I placed a gentle kiss on her cheek and she grabbed my head pulling me back down to give me a big kiss on the lips, and told me to "get clean." This was such a wonderful way to start my day...

For my Brooklyn

If you weren't my little girl, there'd be a hole in the world. A piece of me would be gone, I just couldn't go on. The world wouldn't work without YOU! For who would share smiles and outshine the sun? Who would be the doctor and help everyone? Who would give food to those needing some? It's a good thing you're my little girl!

If you weren't my little girl, there'd be a hole in our home. A piece would be gone, we just couldn't go on. Our family's no fun without YOU!
For who would be princess, the fairest of all? Who would spin circles and dance down the hall? Who would be mommy to all your dollies? It's a good thing you're my little girl! If you weren't my little girl, there'd be a big hole in my heart. A piece would be gone, I just couldn't go on. My heart would be searching for YOU!

For who would pick flowers to put in my vase? Who would give me kisses all over my face? Who'd say "I love you" in sweet little ways? It's a good thing you're my little girl!

For God gave you to me. You're special, you see! There's no hole in my heart, you filled up that part! You're the best thing in life, my little sweetheart! And, Mommy loves you with her WHOLE heart!

Potty Talk

Lately, Brooklyn has taken a huge interest in her baby doll's potty. An interest to the point of pulling down her pants, taking off her diaper and positioning herself to just sit back on the tiny, tiny seat to take care of business. She always tells us what she plans to do, but after having changed her diaper, we didn't think she'd actually go. We were right. But, this inspired me yesterday to make a lunch-hour run to Target to purchase her very own big girl potty. Initially the thought of getting an actual potty for her to use grossed me out, but it does make some sense. (I still won't be putting it in the kitchen, though!) After perusing the potty aisle at Target, I found one that was simple, yet fun and rewarding as it plays music when she does something in the potty. And, the best part is, you can take the toliet seat and put it on a normal toliet!

I called Kevin right away and told him what I had gotten, and told him not to mention it to her as he would be home before me. When I was on my way home, I got to talk to Brooklyn for a few minutes. I told her I had a surprise for her and she said "oh yeah!" As I walked into the house, I unveiled her surprise, and she helped me take it out of the box. The minute it was ready to use, she rushed and got her pants down, and her diaper went flying. She sat on it for quite a while, telling me she had to "poopy bad." As I sat there with her talking about her day and reading her a book, I realized she was having success. She had done it! She was so proud. As Kevin and I clapped for her, she got all bashful and she had just the biggest smile on her face. She kept sitting down again and again on her new potty. I really think she's going to like it and maybe potty training will be a breeze.