Helping Brooklyn find her wings

When I was pregnant with Brooklyn, every mom, including my own told me that I need to treasure every moment with my little girl because kids grow up so fast. A couple friends that had babies before me, used the phrase "growing like a weed" when refering to their baby's growth. After being a mom now for almost 18 months, I get that phrase. Brooklyn is very tall for her age (in the 95th percentile). I guess the part of the "kids grow up so fast" part of the equation that I wasn't prepared for at all was that it meant my baby would reach a point where she's independent with the ability to do things on her own. I have to admit, it's very satisfying when Brooklyn does something by herself that Kevin and I have taught her to do, such as going up and down the stairs on her feet, without crawling. But, there are a few things, that just make my heart ache and my eyes fill with tears. Those are things that I was not prepared for.

I remember bringing Brooklyn home from the hospital, how tiny she was and so dependent on Kevin and I for her every need. Whenever Kevin and I talk about how much she has grown, he always says "Seriously, where's that little baby that would just lie there and sleep all day?"

Now, our little girl has definitely reached the independent toddler stage.

She has learned to soothe herself to sleep. We don't believe in the cry-it-out method of teaching babies to fall asleep on their own - it just seemed too cruel for our family. Instead we taught her by staying by her side, rubbing her back or her head, or just having a hand on her as she drifted off into dreamland. Some nights it would take 30 minutes, other nights 10, with us in the room for her to fall asleep. However, this week, she's decided she wants to do it all on her own. Last night, I carried her in her room, we both gave her hugs and kisses, and then I laid her down in her crib. We told her we loved her and wished her sweet dreams, and then we left the room, closing the door slightly before heading downstairs. Within a few minutes of turning on the monitor downstairs, music began to play. She has an elephant hanging on the side of her crib, that when you pull the nose, music plays. She did this a few times, and within 20 minutes, she was sound asleep. She did it all by herself. While I am so proud of her for doing this, it's one of those things that makes my heart ache and my eyes fill with tears. She doesn't need us anymore to help her go to sleep. *Sigh*

It's been a long time since I have had my meal, whether it be breakfast, lunch or dinner while it was hot, with the exclusion of lunches at work. This is because I feed Brooklyn first, after all she is my first priority. I take a few bites here and there in between hers. However, within the last month, Brooklyn has decided that she will feed herself every meal from soup to mac-n-cheese to chicken and she intends to do this at every meal. If I try and offer my assistance, she just gets mad at me and tells me "don't." She has even taken to helping us eat our meal. This started in South Dakota with a plate of biscuits and gravy that Kevin was having for breakfast. She feed him two bites, gave herself one and then Daddy two more. She's very good at using a fork and a spoon, to the point where when she eats rice, there's not much of a mess around her chair. Again, I couldn't be prouder.

Here's what I have figured, it's really okay. I wouldn't want her to be dependent on me for the rest of her life. I want her to be her own her person and be an independent person because that is so important. I want to be the person who encourages and supports her through every step of her life. I don't want to hold her back because I am not ready to let her go and grow up. I will borrow Mark Harris' words "I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams. And that faith gives you the courage to dare to do great things. I'm here for you whatever this life brings, so let my love give you roots and help you find your wings."