Dating sucks, but it's worth it

Dating. Ugh, gag. That's the first reaction I have when I think of dating. It can be very daunting as you search for the person you are meant to spend the rest of your life with.

Let me be honest, I had quite a few boyfriends in high school and had some boys that chased me, but I didn't give many of them the time of day. Am I proud that I went from boyfriend to boyfriend? Not reallly. I was on the hunt to find that "perfect" boyfriend, much like many high school girls who want to be in a relationship. My freshman and sophomore year, I dated what my parents refer to as "losers." These are the guys that needed their pants stapled to their waists and they need to sit through a couple lessons with Miss Manners. Point in case, one of these "losers" gets into my parents' car after the Homecoming game, and yells to my dad "Hey Pops!" Nice, huh!?! My dad was less than impressed.

My junior year, my interest in the opposite sex changed. I wasn't into bad boys anymore. I started dating a guy a year younger than me. He was in ROTC, the school's version of the military, wrestled and played JV football. He came from a nice family, although his parents smoked like chimneys, and had a stable home life. Sounds better, right? Well, the day he came to school dressed in Army camouflage, my best friend and I bolted to her car and raced away for lunch leaving him standing by my locker wondering where I was. The next day, it happened again, this time, he came in a cowboy hat and spurs. I bolted away again. Shallow? Looking back, yes. Mean? Probably. During this relationship, I had another guy, a year older flirting with me, wanting me to be his girlfriend. I wasn't interested in anything more than his friendship. I also had another guy, a very innocently shy (when it came to girls) guy start asking me for dating advice. He wanted to ask out a girl that he worked with but wasn't sure how and what moves to make. When he got a date with her, another girl and I showed him how to make the not-so-subtle arm stretch move in the movie theater. I was his model. He tried the move out on me, and something instantly clicked, I really liked this guy. For those who aren't sure, yes I was still with my boyfriend, the camouflage wearing wrestler.

Things started going downhill for my boyfriend and I as I kept getting close to this other guy - we were purely friends by the way, nothing more. Our boy's basketball team had made it to the playoffs and they were playing in Evergreen. I asked my boyfriend to come to the game with me. His response: "I don't support people that don't support me" meaning they didn't watch him grab other guys in his little leotard on the mats. That made me so mad. I ended up going with a bunch of friends, one of them being the guy I was starting to fall for. Our team won! On the ride home, I was sitting next to the new guy and I fell asleep with my head on his shoulder.

It only took a few weeks, and a very sentimental Val-O-Gram from me to the new guy, and my boyfriend and I were done. I broke up with him over the phone (the worst way to do it). The next day, my guy friend asked me to be his girlfriend. Yeah! We lasted three weeks, and then I had to end it (actually my mom told me to) because I really wasn't over my ex-boyfriend. The timing couldn't have been more perfect. Spring break was only a day away meaning 1) I wouldn't have to see him for a week and 2) I could work on getting back together with my ex. The day before spring break started, I saw him flirting with a girl I thought was my friend, but she was flirting back and they were singing songs and playing hangman during our yearbook class. It made my heart hurt.

Spring break was finally here, and my mom took it upon herself to call several boys and set up a date a night for me. No, my mom isn't controlling, she just saw something that I didn't at the time, and she wanted to help me find the right path. So, I went on several dates, and finally when Thursday rolled around, I realized that I really wanted to be with the guy who went with me to the basketball game in Evergreen, the guy who was so innocently shy about girls that is was so endearing. I called him that night and he had just gotten back from a date with the girl he flirted with less than a week ago. It didn't work out, and he was very upset, almost crying. We talked for hours and hours about his date, what happened between us and life in general. A few days later I was at his house studying for the ACTs and watching Phenomenon. He started tickling me and one thing lead to another, and we were back together after our week apart.

If you haven't guessed it by now, my new love interest was Kevin. We met for the first time when we were in fifth grade, went our separate ways to different middle schools and different high schools until spring semester our sophomore year. We didn't officially start talking again or acting like we knew each other until junior year. And, after that initial arm around my neck, the sparks began to fly, and we began to fall in love with each other.


Three years later, he asked me to be his wife, and of course I said yes, and I couldn't be happier that I did! He's my best friend, my confidant, my shoulder to cry on, my teddy bear, my biggest fan, the one who keeps me grounded, the father of my daughter and the love of my life. I guess dating isn't so bad, after all, it brought me a fairy tale ending with the man of my dreams. Would I do it again? Absolutely, if only I could guarantee the same end result.

Random Friday

Just a few random thoughts...

• It's amazing to me how much Brooklyn watches our day-to-day activities. When I get home from work, and take off my shoes, she immediately is eager and willing to put my shoes away for me in the closet where they go. Last night, Kevin pulled the broom out to sweep up a crushed ice nightmare on the kitchen floor, and she was over the top eager to use the broom herself. Even though it's much taller than her, she does a pretty good job of using it to move things around on the floor. On Saturday, we were at Brooke's (my best friend's daughter and Brooklyn's friend) 1st birthday party. As Brooke dove into her cake, smearing the frosting all over her nose, chin, cheeks and forehead (completely missing her hair!), Brooklyn sat on my lap and kept trying to hand Brooke a napkin to clean up. It really began to bother Brooklyn that Brooke was such a mess. She showed her what she wanted her to do by wiping her own face and then thrusting the napkin toward her.

• After months and months of watching Brooklyn's interest for the outdoors increase - particularly her backyard and parks - we have decided to get her a playground for our backyard. We picked up the playground last night, getting an incredible deal, and took it home to sit in our garage for another week. We just submitted the correct forms to add a playground to our backyard to our HOA a couple days ago and awaiting their approval. We don't forsee a problem, which is why we went ahead and got the playground. She just squeals at the box because there's a full-color picture of what it will look like.

• After spending Monday and Tuesday with my best friend and her kids, I have decided that having a second kid is doable. Kevin and I have always talked about having more than one kid, but after Brooklyn was born, I began to wonder if it would really work. I love giving her all my attention, and she loves having all our attention. And, how could I ever love another kid as much as I love her. My mom told me that a mom's heart grows with each child, and I believe her, she does have two daughters, but I still had my doubt. But, it just gives me a peace of mind watching my friends with two kids handle it and know that it's all okay. Side note for my mom and mother-in-law who are getting giddy now, we aren't ready to try yet.

• Father's Day is Sunday. It just makes me incredibly thankful for the four men in my life that are dads (and grandpas): my husband, my daddy, my father-in-law and my brother-in-law. Without these men, life wouldn't be the same, and I know that the women in their lives think the same thing. This day also makes me miss my grandpa, who I've mentioned before for his strength and the love he had for his family.

I guess that's it for today. Just some thoughts that I wanted to share.

Helping Brooklyn find her wings

When I was pregnant with Brooklyn, every mom, including my own told me that I need to treasure every moment with my little girl because kids grow up so fast. A couple friends that had babies before me, used the phrase "growing like a weed" when refering to their baby's growth. After being a mom now for almost 18 months, I get that phrase. Brooklyn is very tall for her age (in the 95th percentile). I guess the part of the "kids grow up so fast" part of the equation that I wasn't prepared for at all was that it meant my baby would reach a point where she's independent with the ability to do things on her own. I have to admit, it's very satisfying when Brooklyn does something by herself that Kevin and I have taught her to do, such as going up and down the stairs on her feet, without crawling. But, there are a few things, that just make my heart ache and my eyes fill with tears. Those are things that I was not prepared for.

I remember bringing Brooklyn home from the hospital, how tiny she was and so dependent on Kevin and I for her every need. Whenever Kevin and I talk about how much she has grown, he always says "Seriously, where's that little baby that would just lie there and sleep all day?"

Now, our little girl has definitely reached the independent toddler stage.

She has learned to soothe herself to sleep. We don't believe in the cry-it-out method of teaching babies to fall asleep on their own - it just seemed too cruel for our family. Instead we taught her by staying by her side, rubbing her back or her head, or just having a hand on her as she drifted off into dreamland. Some nights it would take 30 minutes, other nights 10, with us in the room for her to fall asleep. However, this week, she's decided she wants to do it all on her own. Last night, I carried her in her room, we both gave her hugs and kisses, and then I laid her down in her crib. We told her we loved her and wished her sweet dreams, and then we left the room, closing the door slightly before heading downstairs. Within a few minutes of turning on the monitor downstairs, music began to play. She has an elephant hanging on the side of her crib, that when you pull the nose, music plays. She did this a few times, and within 20 minutes, she was sound asleep. She did it all by herself. While I am so proud of her for doing this, it's one of those things that makes my heart ache and my eyes fill with tears. She doesn't need us anymore to help her go to sleep. *Sigh*

It's been a long time since I have had my meal, whether it be breakfast, lunch or dinner while it was hot, with the exclusion of lunches at work. This is because I feed Brooklyn first, after all she is my first priority. I take a few bites here and there in between hers. However, within the last month, Brooklyn has decided that she will feed herself every meal from soup to mac-n-cheese to chicken and she intends to do this at every meal. If I try and offer my assistance, she just gets mad at me and tells me "don't." She has even taken to helping us eat our meal. This started in South Dakota with a plate of biscuits and gravy that Kevin was having for breakfast. She feed him two bites, gave herself one and then Daddy two more. She's very good at using a fork and a spoon, to the point where when she eats rice, there's not much of a mess around her chair. Again, I couldn't be prouder.

Here's what I have figured, it's really okay. I wouldn't want her to be dependent on me for the rest of her life. I want her to be her own her person and be an independent person because that is so important. I want to be the person who encourages and supports her through every step of her life. I don't want to hold her back because I am not ready to let her go and grow up. I will borrow Mark Harris' words "I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams. And that faith gives you the courage to dare to do great things. I'm here for you whatever this life brings, so let my love give you roots and help you find your wings."

Then you stand...

There are times when the roller coaster of life can get you down, and the struggles that you are faced with seem more than you can take.

At work, a song came on that inspired this post. As I listened to the chorus, I started thinking about my grandpa. My grandpa taught not only me, but my whole family to be strong in the face of hardship and struggles. He lived his life in this manner. He let nothing get him down. And, this song, particularly the chorus, really reminded me of him, and this great lesson he instilled in all of us.

"Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you’re made of
You might bend ‘til you break
Cause it’s all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you’ve had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand, then you stand"

Photo Highlights of our South Dakota trip

We're back from our South Dakota travels. All three of us really enjoyed ourselves, and would definitely love to go back some day. As promised, here's a few photo highlights of our trip.


We drove about 10-15 miles outside of Wall, South Dakota, to a town called Creighton. Kevin's dad grew up here, in this farmhouse. We got the chance to walk all around the farm, looking in the barns, and walking around inside the farmhouse. The farmhouse originally started out with just the kitchen/dining room, enclosed patio and living room. Later, they built on two bedrooms, one for the parents and the other for the four children. It was really something watching Kevin's dad explore the land where he was born and was raised. The Denke family lived on this farm until 1965, right after Kevin's grandpa passed away. Kevin's grandma then moved to a house in Wall, across the train tracks from the infamous Wall Drug Store.


It's fitting that the Denke farm would be located on Denke Road. Of course, it was my idea to have the family line up for a shot under their road sign. The last time all three kids have been in South Dakota together was in 1989.


Wall Drug was much more than I could have anticipated. It is very large, and they keep adding more and more to it. The Wall Drug became famous beginning the summer of 1936 when Dorothy Hustead came up with the idea of advertising "Free Ice Water" along Route 16A. After five years of struggling, Dorothy and her husband, Ted got more business than they could have imagined. Now there's a lot of billboards on the roads coming into Wall not only advertising the water, but everything else the drug store has to offer, including 5 cent coffee, free donuts to Vietnam Veterans and a T-Rex that Brooklyn became very afraid of. The shot above is Brooklyn playing in the Wall Drug backyard. They have water shoot out of the little holes in the ground in correspondence with the music. Brooklyn had a blast running in them, but she just was never quite to sure where it was coming from when it hit her since the water shoots out like a rope and lands quite a ways away from where it came out of the ground.


Here's a shot of Kevin and Brooklyn sitting inside the Wall Drug, along their "Main Street." Brooklyn really got a kick out of all the real-life sized structures. Nothing scared her more than the T-Rex or the buffaloes, though.


While we spent the majority of our time in Wall, we spent some time in Rapid City on the way there and on the way back. On the way back, the whole family stopped in at an enchanted place called Storybrook Island. It's all for the kids. Nursery rhymes and fairytales come to life in animated and real life scenes. Brooklyn just had an absolute blast playing in and around all the characters. This is a shot of her in Geppetto's workshop.


No trip to South Dakota would be complete without stopping at Mount Rushmore. I was really in awe as we turned around a corner, and there were heads on the mountain. Brooklyn didn't really get it, but she enjoyed all the people that were around. We checked out the museum and I was amazed to find out carving Mount Rushmore really only took 6 1/2 years. The idea started in 1927 and by 1941 it was complete. There was a few years and time spent on gaining approval and financial support. We were interested in checking out Crazy Horse, which began in 1948 and is really no where near completion, but the cost was more than what we were interested in spending, so we looked at it from a distance. I was way more impressed with Mount Rushmore!

Free Ice Water, Presidents on a Mountain...here we come!

We're going on a road trip to Wall, South Dakota - home of the famous Wall Drug and their "Free Ice Water." I've never been to South Dakota, but Kevin has many times as his dad grew up in Wall. With all of Kevin's family driving there too, plus all his aunts and uncles from his dad's side, it should be quite a good time.

We're leaving tonight, driving through the night seems like it will be so much easier on the princess. Tomorrow morning, we're stopping in Rapid Çity for breakfast and I have a historical district tour planned for us to let us see all the sites before heading to Wall where we can check into our room and rest a bit before the rest of the family gets there.

I can't wait to see all the billboards advertising the "Free Ice Water" that extend for 200+ miles outside of Wall. From what the family has told me, the ice is a necessary element in the water as the water is taken out of the ground and is like 80 degrees. According to some South Dakota research I have done, about 20,000 people stop by the Wall Drug on a good summer day. This is something I want to witness for myself!

Then's there Mount Rushmore (which I will admit I didn't know too much about), Crazy Horse, The Badlands (which sounded like a terrible place to go at first before I learned what they were) and Storybrook Island (a fun place for Brooklyn and her cousin to play).

We are all looking so forward to it. In fact, Brooklyn was so excited, almost out of control, last night as she helped me pack her toys, books and clothes. She ran very, very fast from her room with an armload of clothes to Mommy and Daddy's room to dump them on the bed, to only return to her room to get another load. She even helped pack her best friend, the puppy's belongings as he is going to grandma's house for a weekend of pampering and relaxation. I'm sure he'll miss her, but I don't think he will miss getting hit over the head with her new golf clubs!

I'll be sure to post some pictures of our adventures!

They're back, they're back!!

Even though I said goodbye to my Gilmore Girls last week, I had excitement by the week's end -- I got back my best friend!

What does this mean? Well, my best friend, Jessica and her family moved back to Colorado from Little Rock where they lived for three years. Her husband applied for an open management position with the same company he has worked for since 1998. He got offered the job and took it! They originally moved out to Arkansas so her husband could further advance his career, with the idea that they would move back once there was an opening back here. It's finally happened, and I couldn't be more thrilled to have them back!

They have two kids - Landon and Brooke - both of which are Brooklyn's friends. We went to visit them shortly after Brooke was born (Brooklyn and Brooke are 6 months apart). And, at Christmas this year, we got a picture of the kids to hang on our wall. When I asked Brooklyn Monday if she wanted to go play with Landon and Brooke, she got a huge smile across her face, said yes and pointed at their picture. She knows who they are!

So, Monday, we had a playdate and lunch that last for hours. Tuesday, we had another lunch date. And, we have a playdate set for next week to take the kids swimming.

It's fun having Jessica back in the same state, and right now as they are staying with her mother-in-law, she is only a 10-minute drive away! And, I know that Brooklyn is enjoying spending time with her friends.