Pillow Talk

We started something Sunday night with Brooklyn. We started putting her to bed with a pillow. And, not just any pillow, Mommy's pillow.

I have had the pillow since I was two. It's hand-filled with feathers and fits a twin pillowcase. At first glance, it looks just like a regular, run-of-the-mill pillow, but it has been so much more than that to me. It's been my security blanket when I was younger and afraid of something under my bed. It's gone on numerous trips, including back and forth from my college town. (In fact, in on of my writing courses in college, the professor asked us what we would save in a fire. I said my pillow, but what he was looking for was our writing portfolio.) It's got that quality to it that on a warm summer night, all you have to do is flip it over and instantly, it's cool and helps you fall deeper into a slumber. No matter how many times I wash my pillowcase (yes, I don't like to change it, just wash it weekly), when I smell my pillow, it smells like my childhood, mixed in with the fresh smell of detergent and fabric softener. When I am using a hotel pillow, I can't wait to return to my bed and sleep with my pillow - I really don't sleep as sound without it.

Knowing how important my pillow is to me, Kevin has asked me numerous times if he can try my pillow out for a night. I have always declined his request. But, on Mother's Day night, as I was giving Brooklyn her night-time massage, something came over me, and I asked Kevin to put my pillow in Brooklyn's bed. He gave me a look. We both know that she thoroughly enjoys sleeping like a big girl with her head on the pillow as she has done it several times in the wee hours of the morning when she joins us in bed to cuddle before having to wake up for the day. I handed it to him and he placed in on her bed. Sunday night, she went to sleep right away when we laid her down and slept all night long - something she does off and on. The next few nights, we tried putting one of Daddy's pillows in her bed instead, but she tossed and turned when we laid her down for bed. Both nights, we ended up putting Mommy's pillow back in, and she was out in less than five minutes and slept all night.

So, now I am in a quandry, and I am feeling a bit selfish, which isn't good. Do I give her my pillow, or do I get her a new one and give her my pillowcase? As a mom, I try and give my baby girl all that she could ever want or need, but I am struggling with this one. For now, she's using my pillow and Kevin's been gracious enough to let me use on of his.

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OK. I just reread what I wrote, and seriously, I sound like a little kid who doesn't like to share!?!

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Side note: We did ask Brooklyn's pediatrician BEFORE we let her use a pillow if it was safe, and the answer we got was yes.

Saying goodbye is SO hard to do

It is with a very heavy heart that I relay this news to you. My absolute favorite, #1 in my opinion, show has been cancelled. Arghh! I just found out and I have to admit it brought tears to my eyes. I also have to admit that I got all tear-eyed during this week's episode.



Here's the article about it...
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Why Gilmore Girls Had to End

In the end, they just couldn't strike a deal.

That, in a nutshell, is the reason Gilmore Girls isn't returning for an eighth season.

Multiple sources confirm that Warner Bros. recently made one final offer to Lauren Graham and Alexis Bledel that included sizeable salary bumps for both in exchange for a shortened 13-episode season. As is now obvious, that offer was rejected.

The official statement is below.

"Announcing the final season of Gilmore Girls is truly a sad moment for everyone at The CW and Warner Bros. Television. This series helped define a network and created a fantastic, storybook world featuring some of television's most memorable, lovable characters. We thank Amy Sherman-Palladino, Dan Palladino, Dave Rosenthal, the amazing cast led by Lauren Graham and Alexis Bledel as well as the producers, writers and crew for giving us this delightful gem for the past seven years. We would also like to thank the critics and Gilmore fans for their passionate support and promise to give this series the send off it deserves."

Much more to come. In the meantime, post your eulogies below. Stay strong, guys.
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I will have to post some of my favorite Gilmore memories after I get done crying!

The Ride of Life

There are a few things in life that make you just stand back and take them in slowly. And, then there are times when you want to fast forward through time to make them happen faster. Right now, I am somewhere in the middle.

I have this amazing daughter who is a 16 month old going on a 3 year old. She is extremely advanced, incredibly smart and very independent. She goes through life discovering something new every day. She impresses me with how much she remembers and how much she picks up on from what we do with her and what she sees her friends doing. There's not a skill that she isn't trying her best to master. One of these days, all the babbling that she is famous for will turn into words, and then, very soon, sentences. She is growing by leaps and bounds, not only in her height, but in her development. Sometimes I find myself just sitting back and watching her explore her world, and I am saddened that my baby is no longer a baby. At the same time though I can't wait to see what she is like when she turns 2 - what will see be saying?, how much hair will she have?, how tall will she be?, etc.

And, then there are things in life that just make me, a 26 year old woman, feel old.

I have two women in my life that are preparing to embark on the journey of marriage. One is my sister-in-law, Kristi and the other is my cousin, Sarah. Both are incredible women and their fiancees complement them so well and really are the loves of their lives. It makes me so happy to hear the joy, excitement and anticipation in their voices and see how in love they really are. And, I have to keep reminding myself that they are both old enough - Kristi, 23 and Sarah, 23 in a few days. But, I seriously have so many memories of both of them way before marriage was a factor in any of our lives. I remember Kristi riding in the back seat of my car on the way to high school sitting so quietly and almost appearing to be shy (which she isn't) as she never mouthed a word. I remember her telling me on my wedding day, minutes before the ceremony to "take care of her brother." I remember slumber parties with Sarah at our grandma's house where we would play house and try and rule the gamut as we were the oldest girls there, and we felt we knew it all.

And, then, there's my sister, who for the longest time I have seen as my "kid" sister, is turning 20 this year. She is no longer a kid, and really hasn't been for quite some time. She's been faced with some really challenging times, but has overcome them all to be the strong woman she is today. I couldn't be prouder of her. Now she is living on her own, in her own apartment about 30 miles away from our parents and from me. Over the last year, she has taken great strides of maturity and is really working on building a good life for herself. I am having a hard time fathoming her turning 20. I realize that it's a natural process in life to age and get older, but a part of me wants to hold onto the little girl that I grew up with who decorated the walls of our basement and garage, who would slide notes under my door apologizing after we had a fight, who was there to play with at any hour of the day or night and who after having a bad dream or bad day would jump into bed with me to cuddle.

I guess the best thing to do is hold on tight to the memories, savor the present and look forward to the future.

Where has my baby gone??

Yet another sign that our baby girl is really not a baby anymore. She is now a front-facing car-riding pre-toddler. We got her the new car seat (pictured here – baby not included) on Friday night. She wasn't quite sure what to think at first because whoa, she can see Mommy and Daddy now. Her and Daddy enjoyed playing a game of I'll throw everything that you hand me back to you over and over again!
Now, she's a bit more used to it, and she will just sit there so content looking around and dancing to a song on the radio or CD. It's very cute and I love being able to see her beautiful face in my rear-view mirror and not have to worry about positioning the mirror on the back of the seat just perfect. She loves to look around, and now realizes that she can see doggies and people walking along on a sidewalk which she seems to really enjoy. The best part is Daddy letting his girls get the girly-looking car seat!

***EXCITING NEWS***

My sister-in-law, Kristi, is engaged! Her boyfriend, Zac proposed Saturday night after they got back to their apartment building in downtown Denver. They went to dinner at her parent's house where during the meal, Zac asked for their blessing to marry their daughter, which they got.

We didn't find out about this until Sunday morning after church (thanks to our ringer being turned off our home phone so that our lil' princess didn't wake up!). We were in the grocery store about to start on our weekly shopping, when Kevin's cell phone rang. I wasn't sure who it was, but when Kevin said, "and you said yes?" I had this gut feeling it was Kristi and Zac had popped the question. Kevin immediately handed the phone over to me and Kristi sounded so excited while telling me that Zac proposed and she said yes! We wished our congratulations, and then after hanging up, passed the floral section where Kevin dialed his sister and informed her that Brooklyn would make a wonderful flower girl!

I just love weddings!!

Updates all around...

First off, Kevin and I had a wonderful anniversary. He surprised me with tickets to the musical The Light in the Piazza which played at the Buell Theatre. We both really loved the musical, and apparently, it was one of those things that people either really love or really hate it. We knew a few other people that went to see it, and there were definitely mixed emotions on it. Granted we do are not regular theatre-goers, so we weren¹t sure if our opinion was because we didn¹t have all the knowledge that someone who frequents the theatre does. Like, was the setting changes too slow, the lighting not right, etc. However, our good friend who has annual passes to the Buell to see a wide range of productions said that he too liked the Piazza. So, we weren¹t completely off our rockers because we really loved it!

Some Brooklyn news to share -- When I took her to the doctor for her 15-month check-up last month, her doctor informed me that she is developing at the level of a 2-year-old. I knew that my lil¹ girl was very smart, and I felt like she was advanced as far as what she is capable of doing, but to hear her doctor say that, really meant a lot to me. I am so proud of her and how interested and determined she is to learn new things.

Kevin and I have realized that she is watching everything that we do -- she tries to put on her shoes like she sees us doing, she tells her doggy to get down when he jumps up on her highchair after dinner to see if there are any scraps left over, she walks around the house on her cell phone (one of our old ones) talking and walking all around. It has definitely put a question in our mind when we do things like drink directly out of the milk carton ­ do we really want her doing that? ­ probably not, so we better not.

She did surprise us one night though -- I was making dinner and Kevin was doing something in the one of the cabinets. Needless to say, we both had our backs to her for a moment. I heard a trickle of liquid, but I wasn¹t sure where it was coming from. I turned around and saw her holding a pitcher full of Kool-Aid. She had grabbed the pitcher ­ plastic, thank goodness! ­ off the kitchen table and was trying her very best to maneuver it over to us. By this time, Kevin whipped around to see what she was doing. The pitcher proved to be more than she could handle, so down went the pitcher completely full of Kool-Aid. She had this shocked look on her face, I started laughing and Kevin looked at her and shrugged. She shrugged back at him, completely in disbelief, as I ran up the stairs to get some towels. Both of them were still in the same transfixed positions when I returned. She literally just stood in one spot, barely moving as I cleaned it up. When I was done, she came over to me and gave me a hug as to say she was sorry. I told her that accidents happen and that it was okay. Needless to say, Kevin and I learned a big lesson -- Keep things in the middle of the table because our daughter is TALL!

One more thing to share -- We have started teaching Brooklyn to fall asleep on her own. Up until now, we have either cuddled with her, rocked her or walked around with her to get her to go to sleep for both naps and bedtime. She has taken many of naps with us laying in our bed, or laying across us in the rocking chair. I must admit that we have really enjoyed holding her, breathing in her sweet scent, getting to gaze down at her beautiful face, watching as her chest moves up and down, watching as her hair turns from straight to curly as she is a bit of a sweaty sleeper, listening to her little snore, watching as she drifts off to a heavier sleep as her pappy (pacifier) falls out of her mouth and watching in amazement at how still she is after all she is usually so busy running around playing. While those times will be missed so much, Kevin and I both feel that it¹s time for her to learn how to fall asleep on her own. Please say a prayer for all of us that it¹s a smooth transition, as this family does not believe in the cry-it-out method, but instead helping her learn through encouragement, human touch in the form of back rubs and support.  

So blessed…

Tomorrow, Kevin and I celebrate our 4th wedding anniversary, and Saturday marks our 10th year of being a couple. We have been a part of each other’s lives now for 17 years as we started out just being elementary school classmates. We have come a long way from those days on the playground chasing each other and flirting innocently. We survived the trying high school years together, and found out more about each other during the college years. As with every relationship, we have had our ups and downs, but I can honestly say that there is no one in the world I would want to experience life with than him. He is my best friend, my partner in life, the father of my daughter and my husband.

There are so many reasons why I love and am in love with this man, but here are just a few…

-- The smile and look of awe that spread across his face the moment our daughter was born.
-- Cuddling with him in bed, sharing anecdotes about the day’s events.
-- Hearing the excitement in his voice that his sprinkler system is finally fixed after he’s been battling with it for two years.
-- The text messages he sends me while waiting on a court proceeding to take place that he’s covering for his newspaper.
-- Watching him come home after a long day at work and sit down to play with Brooklyn before he changes his clothes or does anything else.
-- His great work ethic and his steadfast desire to make his daughter proud of him.
-- The way he’ll call me and tell me how great I am, how much he loves me, what a great mom I am and then asks me if it’s alright if he goes to the Mammoth game.
-- How he crams a 5-day work-week into a 4-day work-week so he’ll have Fridays off to spend with his daughter.
-- His love of warmer weather so he can get outside and mow his lawn.
-- His willingness to help out with anything around the house from laundry to cooking to taking out the trash.
-- How he fills up the gas in my car for me after his early morning bible study.
-- Hugging him and smelling his cologne that he puts on just for me.
-- Listening to the one-sided conversation he has with his dad when they are talking about sports and the excitement in his voice.
-- How he sneaks downstairs to play football on his PlayStation if Brooklyn and I lay down for a nap together.

I am so grateful that I get to share my life with such an amazing man. I can’t believe it’s only been four years… it feels like a whole lifetime!