Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy

My best friend just called me from the baby's aisle at our local grocery store. She said with a lot of excitement in her voice, "They are having a HUGE clearance sale on diapers, you want me to pick you up a pack?" I got giddy right away. Diapers are an absolute necessity, but they are so darn expensive!

We spent the next five minutes going back and forth about different brands, the number of diapers and the cost per diaper. I usually get Brooklyn's diapers at Sams Club, because I have found them to have the best prices - $34.99 for a box of 144 diapers. Now, that's about 24 cents per diaper, pretty good deal actually for the brand I prefer - Pampers.

The grocery store was offering 144 diapers for $14.49 - that's 10 cents per diaper. They are my second diaper brand choice, but I couldn't resist the deal. And, it's really perfect timing because we were going to have to make a Sams Club run very soon.

I'm still buzzing about it. I even ran into my co-worker's office to share the good news. She looked at me and said "Yep, you're a mom!"

Dating sucks, but it's worth it

Dating. Ugh, gag. That's the first reaction I have when I think of dating. It can be very daunting as you search for the person you are meant to spend the rest of your life with.

Let me be honest, I had quite a few boyfriends in high school and had some boys that chased me, but I didn't give many of them the time of day. Am I proud that I went from boyfriend to boyfriend? Not reallly. I was on the hunt to find that "perfect" boyfriend, much like many high school girls who want to be in a relationship. My freshman and sophomore year, I dated what my parents refer to as "losers." These are the guys that needed their pants stapled to their waists and they need to sit through a couple lessons with Miss Manners. Point in case, one of these "losers" gets into my parents' car after the Homecoming game, and yells to my dad "Hey Pops!" Nice, huh!?! My dad was less than impressed.

My junior year, my interest in the opposite sex changed. I wasn't into bad boys anymore. I started dating a guy a year younger than me. He was in ROTC, the school's version of the military, wrestled and played JV football. He came from a nice family, although his parents smoked like chimneys, and had a stable home life. Sounds better, right? Well, the day he came to school dressed in Army camouflage, my best friend and I bolted to her car and raced away for lunch leaving him standing by my locker wondering where I was. The next day, it happened again, this time, he came in a cowboy hat and spurs. I bolted away again. Shallow? Looking back, yes. Mean? Probably. During this relationship, I had another guy, a year older flirting with me, wanting me to be his girlfriend. I wasn't interested in anything more than his friendship. I also had another guy, a very innocently shy (when it came to girls) guy start asking me for dating advice. He wanted to ask out a girl that he worked with but wasn't sure how and what moves to make. When he got a date with her, another girl and I showed him how to make the not-so-subtle arm stretch move in the movie theater. I was his model. He tried the move out on me, and something instantly clicked, I really liked this guy. For those who aren't sure, yes I was still with my boyfriend, the camouflage wearing wrestler.

Things started going downhill for my boyfriend and I as I kept getting close to this other guy - we were purely friends by the way, nothing more. Our boy's basketball team had made it to the playoffs and they were playing in Evergreen. I asked my boyfriend to come to the game with me. His response: "I don't support people that don't support me" meaning they didn't watch him grab other guys in his little leotard on the mats. That made me so mad. I ended up going with a bunch of friends, one of them being the guy I was starting to fall for. Our team won! On the ride home, I was sitting next to the new guy and I fell asleep with my head on his shoulder.

It only took a few weeks, and a very sentimental Val-O-Gram from me to the new guy, and my boyfriend and I were done. I broke up with him over the phone (the worst way to do it). The next day, my guy friend asked me to be his girlfriend. Yeah! We lasted three weeks, and then I had to end it (actually my mom told me to) because I really wasn't over my ex-boyfriend. The timing couldn't have been more perfect. Spring break was only a day away meaning 1) I wouldn't have to see him for a week and 2) I could work on getting back together with my ex. The day before spring break started, I saw him flirting with a girl I thought was my friend, but she was flirting back and they were singing songs and playing hangman during our yearbook class. It made my heart hurt.

Spring break was finally here, and my mom took it upon herself to call several boys and set up a date a night for me. No, my mom isn't controlling, she just saw something that I didn't at the time, and she wanted to help me find the right path. So, I went on several dates, and finally when Thursday rolled around, I realized that I really wanted to be with the guy who went with me to the basketball game in Evergreen, the guy who was so innocently shy about girls that is was so endearing. I called him that night and he had just gotten back from a date with the girl he flirted with less than a week ago. It didn't work out, and he was very upset, almost crying. We talked for hours and hours about his date, what happened between us and life in general. A few days later I was at his house studying for the ACTs and watching Phenomenon. He started tickling me and one thing lead to another, and we were back together after our week apart.

If you haven't guessed it by now, my new love interest was Kevin. We met for the first time when we were in fifth grade, went our separate ways to different middle schools and different high schools until spring semester our sophomore year. We didn't officially start talking again or acting like we knew each other until junior year. And, after that initial arm around my neck, the sparks began to fly, and we began to fall in love with each other.


Three years later, he asked me to be his wife, and of course I said yes, and I couldn't be happier that I did! He's my best friend, my confidant, my shoulder to cry on, my teddy bear, my biggest fan, the one who keeps me grounded, the father of my daughter and the love of my life. I guess dating isn't so bad, after all, it brought me a fairy tale ending with the man of my dreams. Would I do it again? Absolutely, if only I could guarantee the same end result.

Random Friday

Just a few random thoughts...

• It's amazing to me how much Brooklyn watches our day-to-day activities. When I get home from work, and take off my shoes, she immediately is eager and willing to put my shoes away for me in the closet where they go. Last night, Kevin pulled the broom out to sweep up a crushed ice nightmare on the kitchen floor, and she was over the top eager to use the broom herself. Even though it's much taller than her, she does a pretty good job of using it to move things around on the floor. On Saturday, we were at Brooke's (my best friend's daughter and Brooklyn's friend) 1st birthday party. As Brooke dove into her cake, smearing the frosting all over her nose, chin, cheeks and forehead (completely missing her hair!), Brooklyn sat on my lap and kept trying to hand Brooke a napkin to clean up. It really began to bother Brooklyn that Brooke was such a mess. She showed her what she wanted her to do by wiping her own face and then thrusting the napkin toward her.

• After months and months of watching Brooklyn's interest for the outdoors increase - particularly her backyard and parks - we have decided to get her a playground for our backyard. We picked up the playground last night, getting an incredible deal, and took it home to sit in our garage for another week. We just submitted the correct forms to add a playground to our backyard to our HOA a couple days ago and awaiting their approval. We don't forsee a problem, which is why we went ahead and got the playground. She just squeals at the box because there's a full-color picture of what it will look like.

• After spending Monday and Tuesday with my best friend and her kids, I have decided that having a second kid is doable. Kevin and I have always talked about having more than one kid, but after Brooklyn was born, I began to wonder if it would really work. I love giving her all my attention, and she loves having all our attention. And, how could I ever love another kid as much as I love her. My mom told me that a mom's heart grows with each child, and I believe her, she does have two daughters, but I still had my doubt. But, it just gives me a peace of mind watching my friends with two kids handle it and know that it's all okay. Side note for my mom and mother-in-law who are getting giddy now, we aren't ready to try yet.

• Father's Day is Sunday. It just makes me incredibly thankful for the four men in my life that are dads (and grandpas): my husband, my daddy, my father-in-law and my brother-in-law. Without these men, life wouldn't be the same, and I know that the women in their lives think the same thing. This day also makes me miss my grandpa, who I've mentioned before for his strength and the love he had for his family.

I guess that's it for today. Just some thoughts that I wanted to share.

Helping Brooklyn find her wings

When I was pregnant with Brooklyn, every mom, including my own told me that I need to treasure every moment with my little girl because kids grow up so fast. A couple friends that had babies before me, used the phrase "growing like a weed" when refering to their baby's growth. After being a mom now for almost 18 months, I get that phrase. Brooklyn is very tall for her age (in the 95th percentile). I guess the part of the "kids grow up so fast" part of the equation that I wasn't prepared for at all was that it meant my baby would reach a point where she's independent with the ability to do things on her own. I have to admit, it's very satisfying when Brooklyn does something by herself that Kevin and I have taught her to do, such as going up and down the stairs on her feet, without crawling. But, there are a few things, that just make my heart ache and my eyes fill with tears. Those are things that I was not prepared for.

I remember bringing Brooklyn home from the hospital, how tiny she was and so dependent on Kevin and I for her every need. Whenever Kevin and I talk about how much she has grown, he always says "Seriously, where's that little baby that would just lie there and sleep all day?"

Now, our little girl has definitely reached the independent toddler stage.

She has learned to soothe herself to sleep. We don't believe in the cry-it-out method of teaching babies to fall asleep on their own - it just seemed too cruel for our family. Instead we taught her by staying by her side, rubbing her back or her head, or just having a hand on her as she drifted off into dreamland. Some nights it would take 30 minutes, other nights 10, with us in the room for her to fall asleep. However, this week, she's decided she wants to do it all on her own. Last night, I carried her in her room, we both gave her hugs and kisses, and then I laid her down in her crib. We told her we loved her and wished her sweet dreams, and then we left the room, closing the door slightly before heading downstairs. Within a few minutes of turning on the monitor downstairs, music began to play. She has an elephant hanging on the side of her crib, that when you pull the nose, music plays. She did this a few times, and within 20 minutes, she was sound asleep. She did it all by herself. While I am so proud of her for doing this, it's one of those things that makes my heart ache and my eyes fill with tears. She doesn't need us anymore to help her go to sleep. *Sigh*

It's been a long time since I have had my meal, whether it be breakfast, lunch or dinner while it was hot, with the exclusion of lunches at work. This is because I feed Brooklyn first, after all she is my first priority. I take a few bites here and there in between hers. However, within the last month, Brooklyn has decided that she will feed herself every meal from soup to mac-n-cheese to chicken and she intends to do this at every meal. If I try and offer my assistance, she just gets mad at me and tells me "don't." She has even taken to helping us eat our meal. This started in South Dakota with a plate of biscuits and gravy that Kevin was having for breakfast. She feed him two bites, gave herself one and then Daddy two more. She's very good at using a fork and a spoon, to the point where when she eats rice, there's not much of a mess around her chair. Again, I couldn't be prouder.

Here's what I have figured, it's really okay. I wouldn't want her to be dependent on me for the rest of her life. I want her to be her own her person and be an independent person because that is so important. I want to be the person who encourages and supports her through every step of her life. I don't want to hold her back because I am not ready to let her go and grow up. I will borrow Mark Harris' words "I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams. And that faith gives you the courage to dare to do great things. I'm here for you whatever this life brings, so let my love give you roots and help you find your wings."

Then you stand...

There are times when the roller coaster of life can get you down, and the struggles that you are faced with seem more than you can take.

At work, a song came on that inspired this post. As I listened to the chorus, I started thinking about my grandpa. My grandpa taught not only me, but my whole family to be strong in the face of hardship and struggles. He lived his life in this manner. He let nothing get him down. And, this song, particularly the chorus, really reminded me of him, and this great lesson he instilled in all of us.

"Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you’re made of
You might bend ‘til you break
Cause it’s all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you’ve had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand, then you stand"